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The first time I opened my mouth to speak steam escaped to the air, and black oil dripped from my lips and onto the ground.

A/N: *Hellsing Abridged  **DBZ Abridged  ***Elf

All was quiet in Sigyn’s apartment until the thunder of footsteps disrupted the silence. Suddenly the front door flew open and two figures darted inside. The door slammed shut and the two individuals slumped against the wall each trying to catch their breath. 

The figures were dressed rather oddly. One was dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter while the other was dressed as a Basil Rathbone-esque Sherlock Holmes.

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A/N: Just a little bit of language. 

* Hellsing Abridged

**Code MENT 

Sigyn was in a funk. Who the hell did Loki think he was trying to weasel his way back into her life and expecting her to go with him back to Asgard after all this time? And why did he have to look so good in Midgardian clothes? “Who the hell does that pretentious, gorgeous bastard think he is?” Sigyn paced around her apartment trying not to think about Loki and failing miserably. As much as she was annoyed with Loki, there was a small part of her that was glad he was there. He actually tried to find me, she thought smiling. Maybe…he actually cares about me. Or he’s just going to try and use you for something. Sighing in frustration, the goddess decided to go out and distract herself for a few hours.

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A/N: I will be quoting a few different things here and I want to give credit where credit is due.

* Dragon Ball Z Abridged

** Hellsing Abridged

If you have no idea what these are, I would strongly recommend looking them up because they are hilarious.

Also there is some language.

“You cheeky dick waffle, you actually found me.”**

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Present Day Midgard

It had been 800 years since Loki began his search for Sigyn and he still hadn’t found her in all that time. Frigga never told him where she was and he never bothered asking because he knew she wouldn’t say a damn thing. The search was beginning to drive Loki mad, but not to the point where he would try to destroy all the frost giants on Jotunheim in a quest for fatherly approval thanks to a lifetime of deep-seated daddy issues and feelings of inadequacy. No, that would be madness.

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A/N: Just a little bit of language other than that enjoy!

One thing must be understood about Midgardian years and Asgardian years. What would seem like a big-ass amount of time in Midgardian years is considered rather minuscule in terms of Asgardian years. For example, if say 200 Midgardian years have gone by, then that would feel like 20 Asgardian years to the common garden variety Asgardian or Frost Giant that thinks he’s an Asgardian, but clearly isn’t. This still isn’t a long time to Asgardian’s because, let’s face it, they’re immortal, so time isn’t really an issue for them as much as it is for mortals, or at least those with shorter lifespans, but we must have a time frame in order for the reader to know how much time has passed and to move the story along (I just broke the fourth wall!).

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A/N: No warnings are really necessary except for the fact that I will be quoting my favorite abridged series, T.V. series and movies like a baller (see what I did there?) through Sigyn who is freaking awesome and kind of crazy but you’ll see that later on. There is some language in this so head’s up.

The first part is mostly exposition for Sigyn and Loki is kind of secondary at the beginning, but he’ll get more time later on down the road.

I apologize for typos.

Sigyn had had enough. She was leaving Asgard and her husband, Loki who was a total d-bag if she was perfectly honest about it. 

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Authors note: This one-shot was inspired by The Morning After by Debauchery and Do-goddery or http://not-elven.tumblr.com/post/12227273515/the-morning-after

Let me just say right now. It’s LokixSigynxDarcy and yes, it is smutty. Hope you all enjoy it. 

I apologize for any typos. 



Sigyn cupped Darcy’s breasts, kissing them reverently. Sigyn couldn’t get enough of Darcy’s gloriously supple breasts and constantly kneaded and cupped them while Darcy was riding Loki. 

Loki was silent, but the O that adorned his face was the clear indicator that he was enjoying himself as Darcy rode him within an inch of his life while Sigyn was pleasuring Darcy in more ways than she could imagine. 

"Oh dear, Loki looks as if he may explode at any moment." The thought of Loki coming made Sigyn wet with anticipation and she continued devoting her attention to Darcy, her hips moving faster hearing Sigyn’s comment. 

Sigyn reached for Darcy’s hips to slow her movements. “There’s no need to rush, Darcy, you have all the time in the world, just take your time.”  Hearing Sigyn’s words made Darcy feel even hotter yet more relaxed, Sigyn put Darcy at ease and made her feel sexy. Darcy smiled at Sigyn and leaned forward to kiss her. Sigyn met her halfway, gently teasing Darcy’s lips with her tongue begging for entrance. Darcy complied and the two women continued with their amorous kisses causing Loki to groan with pleasure, his cock feeling rock hard as Darcy slid up and down his shaft while his wife kissed, caressed and and licked the mortal girl in ways that had Loki practically coming right then and there. 

Darcy was breathing heavily, a lovely red glow adorning her cheeks as she simultaneously pleasured the God of Mischief and set the Goddess of Constancy’s soft flower on fire. Sigyn adored Darcy’s disheveled appearance in the midst of passion, causing her to feel even hotter. The Goddess reached for Darcy’s left breast sucking and lightly biting her soft flesh causing Darcy to moan “Oooh Sigyn.”

"Mmmm, Darcy," Sigyn replied reverently gently squeezing the girl’s breasts. This nearly sent Loki over the edge. Sigyn took note of this, deciding to take mercy on the over-exerted God. 

"I think we’ve tortured him enough, Darcy let’s ease his suffering a little, hmm?" She asks cupping Darcy’s cheek affectionately looking into the mortal’s beautifully blue, dazed eyes.

"Yes, let’s," comes Darcy’s breathy reply. Sigyn smiles and once again grasps Darcy’s hips moving along with her as Darcy begins to ride Loki at a faster pace.

Darcy bounces up and down on Loki’s huge shaft, feeling her climax building up. She bites her lower lip as she feels the pressure building in her abdomen. Sigyn teases Darcy’s nipples until they are hard peaks and even then she still teases them.

Darcy moans, her head thrown back, her hair tickling Loki’s stomach. Loki can feel his release approaching and groans grabbing Darcy’s hips as he begins to pound furiously into the mortal. Sigyn puts her hands over Loki’s and the three move in unison as they reach their peaks. Sigyn takes one hand and gently massages Darcy’s clit sending the mortal into a blissful frenzy, her silky walls clamping down on Loki’s massive cock as she screams Sigyn’s name into oblivion. Loki finally loses his control and comes bursting so hard inside of Darcy. Sigyn touches her own clit moaning Darcy’s name. Darcy helps the Goddess find release, cupping her breasts and teasing her nipples. Darcy adds the finishing touch with a few words, “Come for me my Goddess.” Sigyn shakes uncontrollably and comes with a violent moan.

Darcy and Sigyn collapse on top of Loki, Sigyn cradling Darcy in her arms, stroking the mortal’s soft, brown hair as both women catch their breath. “You were wonderful, Darcy, oh so wonderful.” 

A none-to-subtle throat clearing can be heard from the God of Mischief. Sigyn rolls her eyes, “Yes, Loki, you were fine too.” She smiles secretly at Darcy.

"Let’s see you roll your eyes at me when your sitting in my lap riding me while Darcy showers you with physical affection, my lovely wife."

Sigyn smiles at him then turns her gaze to Darcy, adoration in her eyes. “I like the sound of that.” 

Darcy quickly replies, “Hell’s yeah, when can we start?”